“Win/Win”

“Put up…or shut up”

I’ve come to this place in my life where I’ve drawn the line in the sand…for myself. Don’t we all do that in some form or another, only to move the line once, once we’ve conceded to the reality that our intentions were over zealous? Then, we quickly swoop in to console ourselves with a bucket of justification for why we failed to do, what we said to ourselves we’d do. This is the cycle where you go from your pants being a little tight, to all of your clothes having elastic waste bands. Determination within is the missing ingredient in all of this, and confusing best intentions for it doesn’t seem to get things done. 

“Being your best” is the phrase I use with my children, especially in their your adult challenges. Steve Jobs was notorious for using the phrase “Your work is shit”. In an in depth interview with BBC, he explained why he chose to express himself this way. He stated, only you know when you’ve done your best, and suggesting your effort was poop like, shouldn’t be a shock to you. Motivated people are their own harshest critic, and by him telling them the work they showed didn’t represent such, inspires them to only be more honest with themselves. 

We seldom hold ourselves to such a high standard, and often slide down to the justification side of the equation. “Being mediocre is simple, all you have to do is wake up”. Another phrase my children heard across their childhoods. This implies a difficiency amongst the masses, when it comes to effort, and I’m not going to flush that out, given the current trend of protection of feelings and such in today’s society. Being honest with yourself isn’t my place in this dynamic. Being honest with myself is all I can be accountable for, so take your issues up with that image starring back at you in the mirror. 

“Paleolithic emotions, medieval institutions, and God like technology”

~E.O. Wilson~

Our emotions are the drawback to our self honesty, simply because it feels bad. Humans brains evolved to detest chronic pain, and anxiety. True self reflection is easily converted to anxiety, if we’re not conditioned to accept what we might find. We want things all figured out, or validated with a good cause and effect narrative, so we don’t punish ourselves with some other Paleolithic state of being. 

There is a key to eliminating this viscous cycle, and it stems from something extremely simplistic. Do the right thing, and settle up with how much effort you actually apply to life every single day. No guilt, judgement, or anxiety involved. Be honest with yourself…those other people, they’re not paying to watch!

#life #love #happiness #hope #peace 

One thought on ““Win/Win”

  1. I love the last line: “Be honest with yourself…those other people, they’re not paying to watch!” They certainly aren’t paying to watch another paper cutout version of a life. They want to see a good example, to be inspired and to draw from that towards to their own aspirations. xo

    Liked by 1 person

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