Leadership, influences…and fucking idiots”

My original intent for this blog was to flush out my thoughts and ideas of a better world, so I could help make a contribution to said betterment. It was sidetracked by my personal activities of travel, food, and mindless shit. I apologize to anyone that might be disappointed by my divergence. 

“What it looks like from my perspective…”

I have an abundant life, well beyond my parents dreams. My siblings are equally blessed from the foundations we were set off into the world with. None of this abundance has come without struggle, sacrifice, and emotional turmoil along the way. Still, we view our status as the result of working diligently, understanding compromise, recognizing delayed gratification, and the blessings of a supportive family, namely fully involved grandparents. The three of us see ourselves as ordinary, and the results of a driven effort to achieve our own way. How do we share that mentality with others to offer them a similar path?

Command respect vs Demand respect…”

Brown nosing a life path to a place of some measure of authority isn’t unique to high level corporations. This leapfrog posturing for advantage is a byproduct of social interaction, measuring and manipulating the intent of others has been a part of human existence since language itself. The question then is: 

What mechanism allows particular individuals the capacity to overlook this tactic, and lead by example, absent of taking advantage of the disadvantage created by manipulation”

How often in life do we encounter that person, who believes your respect is warranted, simply because of their authoritative position relative to you? Bosses, teachers, political types, family and the likes all subject others to the idea of their control. Their overbearing authority is supported by fear, and they sleep at night knowing they’re in control. All the while, their subordinates take every opportunity to mock, gossip, and ridicule those folks as “fucking idiots”!

That “secret sauce” is what needs to be identified, and unleashed upon the children today. I’ve always seen myself as ordinary. My behavior was just as disruptive as the bad kids in school, while my grades were as high as the well behaved ones. I excelled in sports, as it just seemed to come naturally to me, but hated the losing aspect. I was relentless in any form of competition, yet I never felt badly about myself for not winning. Somehow, I developed what Carol Dweck refers to as a “Growth Mindset” where improving for the next challenge was yielded from not winning. As I’ve matured (somewhat) that winning desire has been subjugated by “Good Enough” as my physical abilities have diminished into middle age. How did my life produce my current self, and so many others of my generation fell to the wayside? I don’t feel any different from them…



5 thoughts on ““Win/Win”

  1. “Brown nosing a life path to a place of some measure of authority isn’t unique to high level corporations. This leapfrog posturing for advantage is a byproduct of social interaction, measuring and manipulating the intent of others”

    Unfortunately this tactic is often perceived as “acceptable”, because…it works. People as well-trained animals repeat behaviour that is rewarded.

    Our society rewards behaviours, the respectful and humble among us, despise. I always believed that people are inherently good, but that situations can lead them into doing bad things. I am somewhat changing my thinking as those who manipulate, cheat, sabotage and bully or sleep their way to the top and who have NO REMORSE, will see no reason to change tactics when their actions have given them what they wanted.
    When there is no remorse…what is stopping them. The world seem to belong to the narcissists.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Elisabeth,

      Thank you for expounding upon my observation! Narcissism appears to be epidemic to modern culture? My wife and I discussed how younger adults don’t even bother to show appreciation with a simple thank you note? Do you feel this is driving us as a society away from true leadership?

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Yes. Good leaders have many attributes and although suddenly everyone at the company is enrolled in “leadership” courses, that does not create automatically great leaders. I actually see a danger in the practice, If everyone thinks that they could be a leader as a result of some course given by a coach, we engage in tokenism. Not all have what it needs to be a leader. In fact, in a smooth working company we need different people with different capacities, those who follow instructions and are doers, supervisors, managers and upper management with the best leadership skills and practice.

        Narcissism although seen in people who are leaders, is the component that imho is inconsistent with good leadership skills and practice. It is the part that turns good employees away from a company. A leader is democratic and understands that it is the entire team that brings a company to success.

        I apologise, you got me and I replied, I am sure you know a lot more about leadership than I do. Please elaborate…


        Liked by 1 person

      2. Leaders are cultivated from a growth mindset, with a unique quality that touches others to give more than they are willing on their own. They are seen as ordinary people with extraordinary capacity to inspire others to a noble purpose. True leaders see themselves as simply doing what has to be done for a greater good, leaving the glory for those seeking attention. Knowing what a team of individuals needs to have purpose and direction to accomplish a goal or objective…

        These are qualities I identify with from my experiences as both a leader, and subordinate

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Thank you. I enjoy our converstations and would like to continue to learn from you. Thanks a lot.
        Is it possible that I can email you. I have a question.


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